Good Always Wins.


Oh Lord, what have I done?

You told me this would happen, and I just couldn’t see it.

Is there any hope for me; someone who would deny you and walk away in such a crucial moment?

I couldn’t even stay awake to pray when you asked me to. Would that have changed anything?

At the very least, if I had stayed awake in the garden… if I had not denied him, all I would have now would be grief – not guilt and grief.

It’s hard to imagine the gravity of emotion Peter must have felt in the days after Jesus died. Sure, it was only a couple of days. But when you put yourself in the disciples place, I’m sure it felt like an eternity.

Those dark days were long enough for the adrenaline of Jesus’ trial, torture, and death to wear off; long enough for them to feel the absence of their friend and leader; long enough for the enormity of the situation to sink in, leaving only unanswered questions and fear.

Lots of fear.

But, like I try to tell my kids when they are feeling particularly afraid – good always wins in the end.  It may really seem like evil has finished the game, but that means it’s not over.

Tomorrow morning, Resurrection Sunday, we will celebrate the living Christ. We will celebrate the continuation and fulfillment of Jesus’ story. We will celebrate the ultimate good vs. evil story, and the end is already set.

Peter did not have to live out his life feeling guilty, wondering if Jesus would still love him after all his doubting and failing.

And neither do we.

It’s really not such a foreign question, is it? It’s not for me anyway. But those doubts and fears, and general feeling of unworthiness are already anticipated and paid for.

Jesus has already done the work to make us right with him.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
(Isaiah 53:4-6)

It is finished.


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Another Year With Cora

Dear Cora,

On Monday, you will complete another year of life. I feel so blessed to have had you in my life for 5 years now, Cora. Your first days of life were scary for us. Now every birthday you have is a reminder of how precious life is, and how fragile.

But you have been anything but fragile. From breathing problems at birth, to RSV as a six-pound, 12-day-old baby, to a overseas move when you were three, to spending your first year of school in a country outside of your birth country; you amaze me with your strength.

This year you have gone to school for the first time, read your first words, learned to write your name and mine, and made friends in a language I couldn’t understand until I was an adult.

You have learned more about sharing, being flexible, and being a caring friend, sister, and daughter this year than ever before. And you’ve learned by practice and self-control. Your warm heart and enthusiasm often make me (very) tired, but I want to learn more of that from you.

You are always very brave, and sometimes very shy. And I have hardly ever seen a daughter so in love with her Daddy.

I hope for you this year, that you will see dreams come true. That you will have the desires of your heart. I hope that when you don’t get what you want, you won’t be hindered by that, and never doubt that God is with you and for you. I hope you will be able to be brave and try new things, because you are confident He is with you.

I hope that you always know how much I love you; this year and every one to come. I’m so happy to be your momma, Cora Jewel.

Te quiero mucho!!

IMG_1882 IMG_0782 IMG_1003 IMG_1939 IMG_0523 IMG_0156 IMG_1008IMG_2496IMG_2076 IMG_2228 IMG_2204


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Comparing ourselves

From my friend Dave:

The way we dumb down law and sin is by comparing ourselves to others, instead of to Jesus, the Standard, the Perfect One.  “Be perfect, as your Father in Heaven is perfect,” commanded Jesus.  Wait, that’s impossible!  Bingo.  Impossible to enter the Christian life, and impossible to live the Christian life.  I need the convicting work of Jesus’ Spirit 24/7, not just for Sunday morning, not just for the big decisions in my life.  I need dependency on Him in every detail of my life, all day long, asking Him and thanking Him about everything.  His life, lived through me, so I’m amazingly joyful and peaceful, wowing those around me, as I operate by His power, not my puny power.  No credit/glory to me.  All to Jesus.

Another reason it’s (mainly) a waste of precious time, in my opinion, to constantly have conversations and articles about the latest trend in American Evangelicalism and who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s a silly habit that looks like concern for the church, and even feels like concern for the church, but comes along with a mega-dose of comparing and arrogance.

What I need is less thinking about (famous guy)’s performance and news and also less thinking about my own performance. I need more thinking about God’s unmeasurable love and to get filled up with that so my friends and neighbors can see it in me and hear it from me. I need more conviction, more repentance, more joy, and more peace. That’s how the Gospel goes forward.

But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart. Then each one will receive his commendation from God. (1 Corinthians 4:3-5, ESV)

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Mama said there’d be days like this…

Sometimes we have one of “those days.”


You know the type.

The really rough ones where nothing seems to get done, no one goes to bed bathed, lunches aren’t prepared ahead of time, you clean up the whole house just to sit down on the couch and find popcorn on the living room rug. Maybe these days just happen at our house. This week we’ve had a couple of these days. There are a lot of reasons for our chaos. One of them is that I’ve been swamped with doing a million good things lately. There is always another classroom to help in, another workshop to go to at the school, along with the usual cleaning, house keeping, Spanish classes… life. It’s messy. It’s chaos. It’s beautiful.

But I’ll be honest – it’s really easy for me to get overwhelmed by the messy, chaos.

Last week I made a list in my journal. It went like this:

Popcorn kernels (we eat a lot of popcorn).
Dirty Clothes.
Tire Tracks.
Scraps of Paper.
Broken Crayons.
Crumbs of Red Velvet Cake.
Freshly Ironed Tablecloth.
A Mountain of Yogurt and Milk Containers.

Yep, I had been cleaning. The point is – sometimes I need a change of perspective. I’m looking at the mess, and not seeing the beauty in it. It’s time to move the camera.


It’s not about keeping the house clean, it’s not even about parenting, or seeing the bright side of things. It’s not even about not caring about the mess. It’s definitely not about that.

Our homes aren’t the only messy places. Watch the news, take a walk, hang out in a school, go grocery shopping, spend time with a friend… There are messes everywhere. We will never on this earth see the end of hunger, war, death, sickness, abuse… There is no way to avoid it. The one thing we can do, is move the camera. The day is not over, and some day the mess will be cleaned up. Not by us, though. That’s not our job.

Until then, we wait, we hope, and we love. That’s the most important thing, right? Love. When I refocus on my husband, my kids, my city, and just love them, the messes pale in comparison.

I went back and revised my list. Here is what it looked like later.

Dust – because we live in beautiful, dry, dusty Spain.
Hair – from Cora’s long beautiful locks.
Popcorn Kernels – from family movies and snacktimes.
Dirty Clothes – worn by people who play hard and live crazy.
Toys – Loved and played with fiercely.
Tire tracks – from the patio through the living room from our new bikes.
Scraps of paper – From Malaki’s never-ending desire to make art.
Broken Crayons – Used by our creative kiddos.
Markers – for putting imagination on paper.
Crumbs of Red Velvet Cake – A Valentine’s Day treat.
Freshly Ironed Tablecloth – the juice and pizza sauce stains freshly washed out.
A Mountain of Yogurt and Milk Containers. – washed and waiting for Malaki to take to school for another art project.

Love changes everything.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Posted in Christian Life, Family, Learning, Love, Personal | 1 Comment

One way smart students got that way

Amanda Ripley:

And I don’t have a problem with sports; I love sports and played sports all my life. But we’re the only country that makes sports a core mission of school. In most countries, kids play sports outside of school: they do pick-up games, recreational leagues. Sports are not part of what principals and teachers have to think about every day. So sports itself is not the problem. The problem is a broader lack of focus and consensus about what school is for. And kids and parents pick up on that. My child’s school is constantly asking me to do things that have nothing to do with learning. That does not happen in Finland [nor in Spain]. Finnish elementary schools do not ask their parents to hold auctions. So there’s a limited amount of time and energy, and if we don’t have a clear consensus and focus on what matters, then it is easy to do things that feel good and that do create community bonds that are important, but don’t actually lead to helping your child learn to think for himself.

emphasis and brackets added

The Smartest Kids in the World: And How They Got That Way


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Who Is Jesus?

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Jack Miller on 1 John 4:10

“[God is] not only your forgiving God, but your friend. And he has no reservations about you whatsoever!

God has loved me so much that he covered me over completely with the righteousness and blood of his Son. And there’s no more feeling on his part of any kind of having any anger or disapproval with me and no matter what may come out of my past, out of my memories of what anyone may have said against me, good, bad, or indifferent, whatever it may have been.

I am a son of God, or you are a daughter of God, through propitiation . . . and that is unshakeable. It will never be repealed. It is a complete forgiveness.

But more than a complete forgiveness, it is a total reconciliation with God. And it means that he is your friend forever!”

[shared by R W Glenn]

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