Paradox = Pair of Ducks = Yay Duck, Yuck Duck.
Malaki’s class had a page of their notebooks for each day where they could draw a Yay Duck picture, and a Yuck Duck picture. Sometimes his pictures were funny.  For example, one day he colored this scene: Yay = Malaki playing outside. Yuck = Going inside for a time-out.

But there were other days when he flat out told us he didn’t want to move. He didn’t want to leave his grandparents, his bunk-bed, or his toys. I think our training was really helpful to teach us that it is okay for him to feel that way, and we shouldn’t minimize the pain and difficulty of taking him away from everything familiar. (For the record though, he changed his mind later that day when we talked about all the fresh fruit we could find when we move.)

One important thing I learned from our time there was that life, especially life for us right at this moment, is just one big paradox. On one hand, we are very excited to go. On the other hand we mourn the things (and mostly the people) we leave behind. And those feelings don’t disagree. They are just different sides of the same story.

It’s hard right now. But it’s good. Sometimes growing is painful, but it’s better than staying who we are right now.

One thing we know: that even as we leave everything that is familiar, HE is leading us, and going with us hand in hand.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
Isaiah 41:10,13

I don’t think we could be more excited.

I hear the accuser roar,
Of ills that I have done;
I know them well, and thousands more;
Jehovah findeth none.

Sin, Satan, Death, press near,
To harass and to appall;
Let but my risen Lord appear,
Backward they go and fall.

Before, behind, around,
They set their fierce array,
To fight and force me from my ground
Along Immanuel’s way.

I meet them face to face,
Through Jesus’ conquest blest;
March in the triumph of His grace,
Right onward to my rest.

There, in His book I bear
A more than conq’ror’s name,
A soldier, son, and fellow-heir,
Who fought and overcame.

His be the Victor’s name
Who fought our fight alone;
Triumphant saints no honor claim,
Their conquest was His own.

By weakness and defeat
He won the meed and crown
Trod all our foes beneath His feet,
By being trodden down.

He hell in hell laid low;
Made sin, he sin o’erthrew;
Bowed to the grave, destroyed it so,
And death, by dying, slew.

Bless, bless the Conq’ror slain!
Slain in His victory!
Who lived, who died, who lives again,
For thee, His Church, for Thee!

I began to recall different difficulties in my past and near future. Elementary bullying, a significant facial birthmark and several painful removal surgeries during my early years, the prospect of leaving elderly grandparents behind, being far away from my brothers and closest friends, all these and more are tough things. Through honest prayer, I felt a freedom to share these pains with God and in a real way put the burden on Him. There is another pain, though, that tore my heart open on that day. It was the pain of losing our first child in miscarriage.

It was, in retrospect, a healthy day. Beneficial even. But good isn’t the right word. It was hard. I cried more on that day just over a week ago than I had ever cried for our unborn baby.

The lessons from the day didn’t heal my grief or allow me to “get over it,” as if that were even a realistic or healthy outcome. It did help me, though, to hear our facilitator share his own story of the empty arms of miscarriage. Their child was the fourth, leaving them with three living. Ours was the first and we also have three children living. Their pregnancy occurred around the winter holidays, too, and they felt the same deep loneliness compounded by well-intentioned but unhelpful advice.

He and I were able to talk at the end of the day while we stood freezing in the parking lot. Our souls were able to comfort each other and we agreed that there is no neat answer or heart-mending cure. There is now this story, this pain, this loss. A black color on the canvas of our lives that makes us so hungry for a day when all tears are dry.

I want to be the kind of husband and dad who can show his wife and kids, especially his sons, how to really be sad. Leadership and masculinity isn’t just about toughness and fixing the leaking faucet. It’s also about snot-filled sobbing, hunched over in pain, and hugging someone so tight it hurts.

[Jesus] was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief Isaiah 53:3a

The Greek word for ‘religion’ used in James 1 is used negatively in Colossians 2:18 where it describes false asceticism, fleshly works-righteousness, and also in Acts 26:5 where Paul speaks of his pre-Christian life in strict ‘religion’. It is also used negatively in the Apocrypha to describe idol worship in Wis 14:18 and 27. So the word certainly has enough negative connotations to use as a title for the category of works-righteousness. In the Old Testament the prophets are devastating in their criticism of empty ritual and religious observances designed to bribe and appease God rather then serving, trusting, and loving him. The word ‘religion’ isn’t used for this approach, but it’s a good way to describe what the prophets are condemning.

What’s the story on the blog? Why did you start it and what’s the current purpose?

Originally the blog was a place for the students at FBC New London to go for devotionals, event schedules, pictures, online interaction, etc.  But then I began personally interacting with more like-minded blogs; plus it never really took off as a place for students to visit–perhaps this is owing to my incompetent web-designing skills.

The blog is much different now than when it began.  I forget what it used to be called but now it is called Borrowed Light.  The name comes from a Robert Murray McCheyne quote.  After reading through Edwards’ diaries McCheyne wrote in his own diary, “what a feeble does my spark of Christianity appear beside such a sun!  But even his was a borrowed light, and the same source is still open to enlighten me”.  I chose that name because I read and post many quotes from dead guys that are “as a sun” compared to me, but I must always remember the source is still open to me as well!

Regardless of the name, my passion has always been the same, that through what I write Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen God, might be the only boast of this generation.  Now I just hope to accomplish that goal differently.  I write many devotional type of things, I tend to also write articles to help with ministry, and as an avid reader you will find plenty of quotes and book reviews.  Honestly, I’m spending time before the new year reassessing a few things on my blog and trying to be a little more focused and intentional in 2012.

Tony Reinke has written a very helpful book that attempts to answer this very question.  The book is called Lit! and he outlines reasons why being a Christian changes the way we read things.  So you’d probably be better served just taking a look at what he says.  Besides plugging that book, though, I will offer a short answer.  

Christians and non-Christians can read the same book but not in the same way.  A Christian ought to be reading a book with biblically-informed Christocentric goggles.  We realize that everything we read can be used by our wise Father for our edification.  This means that God can just as easily use Sherlock Holmes to teach me a truth about ministry as he can John Piper’s Brothers, We Are Not Professionals.  Obviously, it is more likely that you will find ministry help reading Piper’s book but the point is that everything can be used by God and so we read expectantly with eyes wide open and hearts anticipating the opportunity to “taste and see that the Lord is good.”

Even the most busy person, I think, can block out 15 minutes per day for reading.  If you really truly want to read and you make it a priority you will find time.  So, I would suggest for the person with a bookcase full of unread books to find a good one pull it off the shelf and make an effort to read one chapter per day.  Most books have 10-12 chapters. That means you can finish a book in about two weeks.  That would be about 25 books per year. But some books aren’t worthy of your full attention like this…more on that below.

For me I typically read about 10-12 books at a time.  I wouldn’t suggest that for other people.  Some books that I review I read in an hour or two.  I have learned how to skim in such a way that I can digest the authors point and how he/she is backing it up.  Other books I read a little more devotionally.  With pen in hand I read them relatively quickly and do not chew their contents for very long.  Other books need some good chewing.  I tend to read only a couple books at a time that require a good amount of chewing.

There are some books that once you read a little bit of you know that it’s not worthy of finishing.  If you pick up a stinker or one that you just can’t seem to grasp either sell it on Ebay or put it back in your bookcase for later reading.  Don’t feel guilty just move on to the next one.

If a person decides they really do want to be a better reader, but can only carve out a small amount of time, maybe 10-15 minutes a day, how can he or she maximize that time?

I’ll assume you mean reading books other than Scripture.  Never neglect Scripture.  Having said that, make Adler’s How to Read a Book your first read.  It might be boring but the fruit from other books is well worth the sweat.

I would also say always have a pen with you.  Underline and mark up your book.  Write in it.  Draw stick people in it.  Whatever you have to do to make the book yours.  You may only be able to read it for 15 minutes per day but you can think through what you’ve read much longer than that.

Also, challenge yourself to play less Farmville and extend that 10-15 minutes per day.  If you watch one less episode of M.A.S.H. on TV Land per week you could easily read two extra books per year.  Yes, God can minister to you through watching your favorite TV program or playing Farkle with your Aunt Gertrude.  But I have found more times than not he uses good books.

Any tips on e-books or audio books that could help us all read more?

I am only beginning to use e-books.  I can’t use audio books because I have a hard time learning that way–I’ll start thinking about football or peanut butter or Abraham Lincoln.

One of the things that I am finding difficult with ebooks is that highlighting them with my finger or stylus doesn’t have the same effect as writing on a sheet of paper.  I retain less when I read an e-book.  I’m not certain why.  Also, I think they should try to figure out how to make e-books smell like real books–that’d help too.

When will you see the light and become a St. Louis Cardinals fan?

1987.  I was a Cardinals fan once.  But then I realized that the Prince of Darkness masks himself as an angel of light.  The light you think you see, my friend, is only a deception.  They may seem victorious now but don’t worry redemption is coming.  The Royals will once again own I-70.

Be sure to visit Mike’s blog. I think you’ll be glad you did. And Thanks, Mike, for taking the time to answer these questions. I really appreciate it.

If you are able to pay off credit cards each month and only use them for reasonable things like gas, groceries, and family outings, then now is a great time to shop for a new card. In the past, my family has benefited from things like “cash back” checks from Discover (sometimes as high as 5%) and we used a lot of Amazon.com Visa rewards to do our Christmas shopping.

Since we’re planning to move to Europe soon, I’ve been shopping for a credit card that didn’t charge international fees. There are only two options: a Discover card or a card from CapitalOne. We have a Discover card, but it isn’t widely accepted in Europe. So, I begrudgingly investigated CapitalOne, which I was loathe to do based on negative stories I’ve heard about the company.

It turns out that CapitalOne is getting a better reputation now and offering a few great rewards cards: the VentureOne (no annual fee) and Venture ($59/year) cards. Yesterday, I found myself doing two things I never thought I would: getting a credit card with an annual fee, and getting it from CapitalOne. The Venture card was the right choice for us, even with the annual fee, because it offers an amazing 2 miles for every dollar spend. If you use the card for several thousand dollars (around $8,000) per year, the annuall fee is worth it. Since we will route lots of our regular expenses through the card, we should reach that threshold pretty easily. Bonus: I applied on the CapitalOne website (quick and easy application) and got approved in just a couple of minutes. No waiting for a letter in the mail.

If we were staying in the US, I’d prefer a straight cash rewards card. The Discover and Amazon Visa cards have been good for us and I recommend them. Also, I just learned about the Fidelity American Express that gives 2% cash back into the retirement account of your choice. If we needed another card I would be applying for this.

Remember: if you open a new card and you old card doesn’t have an annual fee, don’t close that account. Keep the card a drawer and use it to buy one tank of gas a year. Keeping the account open helps your credit score.

Mary and Joseph both witnessed the prophecy firsthand. They heard the angel, then they had to live the story. I wonder if they had to keep reminding themselves that their helpless child was the promised savior. If it was me, I think I would have to remind myself every single day. And they could see it happening right before their eyes.

The week before Thanksgiving, 2006, Brian and I found out we were expecting our first child. We were thoroughly excited. We decided to do the responsible thing and not tell anyone until our first appointment. So, when we found out the week before Christmas that our child’s heart was not beating, no one knew how to comfort us. They hadn’t been on the journey with us, so it was a very, very lonely time of grieving.

And yet, God was faithful.

I would never get to hold my baby.
But God was faithful.

We wouldn’t get to name our baby, or even know what gender it was.
But God was faithful.

I wouldn’t feel like God was faithful.
But God was faithful.

Christmas has been bittersweet since that one. But I can see that God was at work; making me lean on him more than I ever had; making me more needy than I had ever been; making me rely on his promises even when I couldn’t understand them. He was good to me.

Tonight I was singing O Little Town of Bethlehem to Malaki before bed and I noticed this line for the first time: “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.” All my hopes and fears are met in Christ. All my insecurities and sadnesses are met in him.

And the hope I have that God is faithful is shown perfectly in this: that God sent his only son to die in my place; sent him to wipe away my sins.

So Christmas is a happy time. It is happy because it promises that God is who he says. He is faithful in prophecy, in miscarriage, and life. And Christmas is the perfect time to be reminded of that.

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
“Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”
  Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
    ”Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

(Great is Thy Faithfulness; by: Thomas O. Chisholm)